Thursday, December 31, 2015

2015's End

Thursday, December 31, 2015

The last day of the year is the day when you can be in a roomful of people but still be alone. Why? Because you're left with what YOU have done this year, not what your friends done, not what your family has done, but YOU. Maybe you think about what your friends or family have done to you, but it's still about you, isn't it? This could be the most selfish holiday there is, really, which is ironic because it's only six days after Christmas.

But it's also a time to reflect, isn't it? A time to really think about what you want to change or don't want to change, although the latter is impossible because of time and age. (Unless you're a vampire).

So here's my reflection of 2015.

2015 was a time of deciding who I want to be. Of finding my purpose. It's been a time of destroying the remains of selfishness and pride, and building my capacity to love.

Once upon a time, I lost my ability to love, because I had lost my first loves--my family. I stopped loving everyone, including myself. Until I realized that I always had people who loved me. Who was I to be so selfish and not give anything back in return? I wasn't that important. I wasn't God. I didn't deserve that love at all, not one bit of it. And if I didn't realize that when I did, I would've eventually lost everyone. That's the truth. Because you cannot have love without giving love.

So here I am, at the end of 2015, ready to be the person that others were for me––loving. Unconditionally loving. People also need love to be saved, don't they? I say you should never give up on people, you should do what's in their best interest to the best of your knowledge and ability. But that's not easy. It takes time and effort, like all relationships do. And I'm ready for the challenge. I'm ready to start fighting.

2015 is the end of this chapter: Finding my purpose.

2016 is the start of this one: Living my purpose.

What chapter are you on?


Happy New Year world,


Alena

No comments: