Monday, December 28, 2015

Daily Questions We Ask

Monday, December 28, 2015

This is a song by the Fray that is really about the question of the existence of God, and of any God, really. When we're angry, throwing crap on the floor, punching the walls in hopeless grief––this is the question that a lot of people ask: "Where were you when everything was falling apart?"
Here are the lyrics, and I highly recommend the song to feel the "full, artistic effect."

I found God on the corner of First in Amistad
Where the west was all but won
All alone
Smoking his last cigarette
I said "where you been?"
He said, "ask anything"

Where were you
When everything was falling apart?
All my days
Spent by the telephone
That never rang
And all I needed was a call
That never came
From the corner of First and Amistad

Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lying on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Why'd you have to wait?
Where were you? Where were you?
Just a little late
You found me, you found me

In the end
Everyone ends up alone
Losing her
The only one who's ever known
Who I am, who I'm not, and who I wanna be
No way to know
How long she will be next to me

Early morning
City breaks
I've been calling
For years and years and years and years
And you never left me no messages
You never send me no letters
You got some kind of nerve
Taking all our love

Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lying on the floor
Where were you? Where were you?

Why'd you have to wait
To find me?
To find me?
The lyrics are pretty straightforward. This is the song I would play on repeat when I was, to borrow some theme from the song, "lost and insecure," because as I listened, I asked God––where are you? I'm looking for you and you're not here. I've been hurting and asking and all you've done is taken all that I love! Why! Why did you do it! WHY DID YOU TAKE IT ALL AWAY WHEN I WAS HAPPY! 
The anger builds up. Then the break down happens. And suddenly, you realize that you're just one human being in this large universe of beings, and then you choose one of two paths: you try to salvage life, or you destroy your own. 

What I forgot while listening to this song was the ending and the beginning––the title. The song is called "You Found Me," because even though you may be waiting and waiting and suffering, he will come. There's no doubt. Maybe it'll feel like it's too late, but it's never too late. Because even though you had to wait, it's worth the wait to change your life. 

You'll be lost and insecure, lying on the floor, but he'll find you, offer his hand, and from there, it's your choice whether or not you're willing to trust him and take that hand. I can't say what will happen if you refuse to take his hand, but I can say that if you do, he will carry you while you are weak and hold you until you are strong enough to walk, and even when you are strong enough to walk on your own, he will always rest in your heart. 

And all of the darkness will die. 

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