I just found out the reason why I felt so uneasy last night. Someone died. And that's why I'm deathly afraid for those I love when I get this feeling that something bad's going to happen.
Last night an inexplicable silence crept onto me, and I say inexplicable because my thoughts are usually running at the speed of light, but they suddenly stopped, as if a vacuum had swallowed them whole.
This meant I didn't have anything to distract me from the memories, which may have been a good thing because I was forced to pay attention to what was around me.
I exited out of the boys' dorm lobby and starting walking towards the girls' dorm, hoping I would be able plop my sore body on my bed and fall asleep with ease (I didn't, but that's just because my thoughts decided to come back all of the sudden. Great timing, right?). Anyway, as I walked, my eyes caught something red.
A fully bloomed red rose. Now, there is a rose walk at my school so it wasn't surprising to me that there were roses, no. What caught my attention was how beautiful this particular rose was. Its petals were curved out upon each other and radiated a glowing red while beads of water rested on them. I picked this rose, because for some reason, it reminded me of the beautiful things in this world, and that beauty can be right before our eyes if we just take time to notice it.
That only lasted for a fleeting moment.
Right when I finally was ready for bed and put the blankets over me, thought came flooding back to me. I didn't sleep for the next three hours, I think. Which was around 1am. Then I woke up at 6am, but I couldn't fall back to sleep because I was still thinking.
I can't really say what I was thinking about because, well, it's a long ass story.
I hate death. But even at night, when it was pitch black dark, I still saw that beautiful rose.
In darkness, there is always light. I really need to start taking my own advice.