Have you ever looked up the meaning of your name?
Do it now, and not just the google definition, but really look into it (not urban dictionary)––look at the origins, why people were named this name in the past (or if there were any others with your name).
Does the meaning fit you?
My name is Alena, pronounced UH-LEE-NA, not UH-LAY-NA. It's of Greek origin, and it's a popular name in Russia. And apparently, my name means . . .
But I'm one of the darkest people I know, with a pretty dark life.
So I did more research on my name. And I found scary accurate descriptions, although I don't like to admit a lot of those traits––they're all true. I almost feel like someone is stalking me. . .
Then I remembered what the novel I'm writing is all about: light.
So maybe the meaning to my name does suit me, but not because of me, but because of what I'm doing. If that makes any sense. I'd like to think that I try to be the best person I can be for others, and although I'm definitely not perfect, I don't want to be selfish. I don't want to be angry. I don't want to be hateful.
I want to fight the demons that hurt me and everyone else in this life. I think my biggest enemy, and probably your biggest enemy as well, in the end, is myself. Yourself. The self. Because you can hit by everything life has for you––loss, betrayal, greed––but what you choose to do in response is all up to you.
Like I've said before: it's your choice what you do with what happens to you.
Just like how you don't choose your name or its meaning, but you can choose what to do with that name.
Now, if you have name that means demon or evil or something, that doesn't mean you're evil. It just means you have something to fight. Anyway, it's just a name. Who says that's all that defines you?
My name means light. And I guess I'm just trying to find that light.