Tuesday, May 10, 2016

Lighten Up

I look back at some of my posts and they're a little too serious or reflective and I thought it was time to just lighten things up a bit. There's 18 days of my high school career left and it's time to not stress the fuck out before finals because that's what'll make you fail, if you didn't know.

Ladies and gentleman,
Just chill out.

Okay, here we go.

So for those of you who don't know, I have really really weird dreams. And by weird, I mean WEIRD. I'll give you an example.

So Ms. Grant asked if I wanted to be a candy girl or whatever for this school carnival, and I agreed (I would never agree to that in real life), so she gave me this striped candy girl outfit and it just suddenly appeared on me.
Then the scene switched to my childhood friend Gage's house, and the family started to show me some of their family photos. One of them included Gage and his Dad with a huge fish on a hook from a fishing trip.
Scene switches again, and I'm at a party. There are people from my school, people from my old school, random faces I can't really place, but I ended up hanging out with Cassie (a character from the British TV Show Skins). Then I go outside, and outside, there's a parking lot. In this parking lot, some of my books were scattered everywhere––The Great Gatsby was soaking in a dirty pond! For some reason, I knew that Cassie was the one who did it, but I never figured out why.
Scene switches. There's this dancing competition at school and a bunch of guys dressed up in pink sequence skirts and started the dance off at the grotto (these people included Robert, Clay, Konnor, Ethan, and Daichi, from what I remember).

I woke up very disturbed.

That's not even the weirdest of them all. I'd say that's a pretty typical Alena dream right there. Some of them are pretty sick though.

These dreams have lead to me research dream analysis, and honestly, no one knows much about it. There are so many theories that no one can really say what's true and what isn't. My theory is that your subconscious is just trying to organize itself and somehow a mesh of images you've seen before start mixing together with random memories. Sometimes dreams are telling you something. Sometimes. Depends on the dream. The dream above, however, is a prime example of a complete meaningless dream. Unless I was very afraid of someone destroying my books at the time.

Anyway, I'm just talking nonsense now.

Saturday, May 7, 2016

21 Days

There are 21 days until I graduate.
Sorry I just needed some time for that to sync in.
You've probably already heard a million other people say this, but I can't believe how fast time passes. It's almost like the older you get, the faster time passes. Remember when you were young, and you had to wait in line for something, and it always felt like a whole DAY would pass before you'd finally get what you were waiting for and so you wished that time would move faster? Well congratulations, because you got what you wanted.
Be careful what you wish for.

May 7th, 2006 was a whole decade ago. I was eight years old. It's crazy to think about how much I dreamed of being a teenager and now my teenage years are almost over.
But the key is to stop thinking about the future so much that it consumes you and steals the time you do have left. This is cliché, but, you don't know how much time you have, so why waste your time thinking about how little time there is? I mean, you know that time passes by fast, so why the hell are you wasting that time crying about it? (If you are crying about it). DO SOMETHING.

It can be anything.

You know, it's really easy to just give up and let yourself decompose. I get it, it's tough just waking up in the morning and facing another day. But take it one day at a time, and you won't regret it. No one ever said that they regretted spending time with those they loved while they could've just gone to sleep early (most of the time).

Hey, it's not easy to live. But there's a reason you're still here. Even if you don't know what that reason is, just know that. You don't have to be religious to believe that.

? ? ? ? ? Days left. What're you going to do with them?

Your friend,


Sunday, May 1, 2016

The Day Dreamer Diaries

That's the title of one of my books that I haven't gotten around to finishing. It's basically about what the title implies: the mind of a day dreamer.

I day dream a lot, and sometimes it distracts me from class, the real world, the sad realities, the rage––anything negative. It's hard to explain how deeply you can escape in a day dream. I'd say it's like escaping in a book or TV show, except you're the one controlling the whole story. I think we like to be able to control things, because then we don't really have to be afraid of everything plummeting on a downwards spiral.

My day dreams are often about the current book I'm reading, except I'm in it. Plot twist, right?
Perhaps we choose books based on what we want to day dream about, or maybe that's just me. It's probably just me.

That's how I write books. I create a world that I would want to live in, which might make it sound like I hate myself because the main characters in my stories have had pretty crappy lives, but the thing is is it's more real because I've had some crappy moments. With those moments, the good is more real, more . . . attainable. I can pretend that one day, I might be this character that's finally found herself and falls in love and saves the world.

That's why writing is so personal: it's revealing a part of the author. We may not know exactly which part that is, but it's there. We all desire to be in a world better than the one we live in. That's why there are writers and readers.

Writers are day dreamers. They're the people who sit in class or can just lie down and be watching a movie without anything but their mind.

I don't know if that's a good or bad thing.